"People of America, I've just met with Rummy.
He showed me some disturbing pictures.
They're all over the internet but I hadn't seen them,
I was too busy reading scriptures.

"Some captives of the A-a-bdul Grub were abused,
Their bodies mistreated and used
For games that I thought I'd no longer see
Since we banned them in my fraternity."

I run to the computer and get online
To see what he's talking about.
Picture after picture fills my eyes
Of tortured prisoners and smiling GI's.

"Conventions, accords, international law,
My attorneys tell me they're quaint.
We're fighting a different kind of war and
Prisoners these ain't.

"Enemy combatants got the four-one-one.
If we let 'em go they'll pick up guns…
We think they know the location
Of the terrorist situation!

"Used to have Chalabi on the ground
But he can't be trusted. We recently found
He was talking to Iran—
Messin' up our nuculer ban."

[sung by CHENEY and BUSH to "All of Me"]
"Chalabi, we thought we could trust you.
It's a shame we now have to bust you.
You talked to Iran and fucked up our plan,
Forget about being our right hand man.

You are coming off of the payroll,
You're not looking too presidential,
You took apart Iraq's org chart so...
You're fired Cha-aal-a-bi!"

Exactly who is this Chalabi guy?
He's been in the States for most of his life
So why do we upon him rely?
I'll have to check it out later: Reagan just died.

"Today, I express profound regret
At the death of Ronald Reagan.
A holier warrior we never knew;
To love him was simply American.

"He took on crack and the Berlin Wall,
He fought the commies at home and abroad,
His hair was always perfectly coiffed
As Nancy stood by his side.

"He often said that the back of a horse
Would cure his inner man.
May he rest in peace while I
Hold the reins as master Repulican"

Go get 'em Junior, we
Know you'll ride hard on your
Two-wheeled steed in your
Crawford backyard

With a helmet I pray for
If you should crash
'twould be a rough end to our
Splendid Bush bash.